It breaks my heart

Yesterday while riding home  from school, Gabe told me he doesn't like his voice.  He said he wants to talk like his cousin.  How heart breaking.  I don't want Gabe to realize he talks different then other kids.  I don't want other kids to make fun of him.  It breaks my heart to no end knowing other mean children are going to pick on my baby.  I like living in a bubble where I can imagine that all people and all children treat each other with respect.  It won't happen.  Kids are mean....hell big people are mean.  When you don't talk like society thinks you should you are immediately labeled "stupid", "slow", "retarded".  Gabe is none of those.  The one thing I hate most about autism....Gabe's language issues.  If I could fix that today...I would.  I can handle the meltdowns, the need for sameness, the spinning, jumping, echoed speech, but when he knows he talks different....I can't handle that.  I don't want him to feel less....he is no less then anyone else....and I need him to know that.  I love my son...may he always be surrounded by those who love and see him for who he is....he has so much to offer.

Too Much School

Can there be such a thing as too much learning??  You bet!  Poor Gabe is so burned out from school that he cries every time he hears it's a "two school day".  The last two days I have kept him at home.  He needs the break.  We spent an entire Tuesday snuggling and playing Mario Galaxy 2!  Then we went swimming.  It was a great day. 

I am so ready for school to be done.  Gabe's going to go to his first ever day camp at LUF.  An entire week of fun, fun, fun! 

We also decided NO SUMMER SCHOOL (also known as extended school year) for Gabe.  It's a last minute decision...but one that I feel is the right choice for Gabe.  He is totally therapied out.  I can't say I blame him much. Three to four days a week of speech therapy for the last 3 years.  And while I know how important intensive therapy is....Gabe still deserves a break for a job well done. 

So our summer plans are to be lazy and enjoy the pool...and cut back speech and OT to 2 hours a week.  It's going to be a great summer.

Update on the kiddies.

Zane's tubes have been placed.  Yay!  He has had one ear infection since then :-( Boo.   But seems to be doing better.  Matt and I decided it was time to call early intervention for Z, given the fact that he really isn't adding new words and receptively he seems a wee bit delayed. I'm hoping it's just from recurrent ear infections.  His words so far are uh uh (UH OH), cat (for everything), dada, hot (for hot, cold and light) and that's it.  I was hoping for more by now.

Gabe graduates preschool next week!  Then it's off to kindergarten.  I am really having a hard time dealing with the idea that he is going to be in school 5 days a week full time.  I might have a mini meltdown.  My baby isn't my little baby anymore. 

Our pool at our complex is open!  Woo hoo.  Gabe's been swimming twice now.  Zane hates it and cries....but Gabe's a fish.

We have lots of fun things planned for this summer and can't wait to sit back and relax!

Tomorrow....is the (cue dramatic voice) IEP meeting.

I'm feeling a little ill about all this.  I'm not too sure what to ask for, how to approach Gabe's needs, or for that matter who will be on Gabe's side, besides me of course.  I think I know what he needs, but the school has not always agreed with what I think.  They have their own agenda and I can respect the fact they are on a budget, but in all honesty I don't care if the Principal has to take a pay cut so long as my child's needs are met with the "appropriate" services.

I'm reminding myself not to tell the IEP what Gabe needs, but ask what they think would help him.  Deep down I know what he needs.  I just have to let the educators help me.  After all they are the one's who went to school for this, right?  Maybe after tomorrow's meeting I might be typing an entirely different post.

Gabe does have a great sped ed teacher.  And I hope she is able to convey the importance of sensory breaks during the day for Gabe.  Getting OT services for Gabe has been like ripping out teeth on an unsadated crocodile.  Very time consuming and dangerous.  Gabe has had an OT on consult for some time...and finally we have some sensory outlets in place.  I need for those outlets to carry over the the school. 

I'm sure I'll be back to post again tomorrow.  Prayers needed....and loads of them.

You break my heart...

...all three of them!  Today Gabe stole a high lighter from the UPS store.  I made him take it back and say sorry.  He also got grounded and couldn't have his cousin over.  On the way home he told me "you break my heart, my free (three) hearts."  I said, "buddy, you only have one heart"  Gabe replied, "my bideo game hab free.  I hab free" [hearts]  I had to move the mirror so he wouldn't see me chuckling at his comment.  How can I get angry with him when he is so gosh darn cute sometimes?

I'll try not to break his three hearts anymore.  In the meantime I reminded him he can get more "health" if he eats his green beans.  

Zane and the Ears.

Zane's ears have been the topic of conversation for some time now.  He has had one infection after another for more then two months.  Thankfully we are getting tubes at the end of the month.  And it just can't get here fast enough.  I have missed so much work, been called out of work early, lost countless hours of sleep, I think I have a stress induced eye twitch (seriously), and I am just ready for NO MORE EAR INFECTIONS.  So, today we went back to the pediatrician...WHY? you ask....another ear infection.  BUT this time I have a refill on an antiobiotic....yippie....one less dr. visit we will have to make before tubes go in.

The silly doctor tried to tell me they won't do maintenance antibiotics.  So I told the doctor..."Zane's been on an antibiotic for more then two months with a 3-4 day break in between his next round of meds" ....dr....looks at chart...hmmmm...wow...that's a lot of antibiotic "so, can I just get a refill on whatever you are giving him this time so I don't have to come back in 13 days?"  I left with my refill.  One mom 0 dr.  I normally say NO to antibiotics, but we just can't rid this evil bug from Zane's ears

Don't you worry your dirty little head off evil germ bug.  It won't hurt you a bit when the ENT sucks you from the depths of my little guys ears.  Oh I will get even with you.  You have caused much turmoil in this house....and your day will come.  April 30th.  Judgment day...what would you like for your last meal Mr. Germ?  How 'bout a round of zithromax. Whhaaaa hhaaaa haaa. 

You see...I have already lost my mind, I'm talking to germs.  If tubes don't work.....it's the looney bin for me.

You have teeth....

This morning in the family bed....during some well deserved snuggle time Gabe noticed for the first time ever, Zane has teeth! His conversation with Zane went something like this.... "You hab teefe Zaney. Now you talk. You hab teefe, you get bigger, you be my buddy!" And the smile hasn't come off my face yet. I love my kids....