It's the little things....

Swimming swimming swimming

2011-07-13T12:51:00.000-04:00

The boys are both in love with swimming. Zane is slightly upset with his "boat" in the beginning, but quickly enjoys splashing and floating around in the water. We tried a life vest for Zane, but he tips forward. Gabe LOVES to be thrown in the air. Although, too many times and he gets upset.

CAMP TIME...
Gabe loves his camp he goes to three days a week. They had pirates day, science day, community helper day. Each day is a new theme and a different location. The change in location did throw Gabe for a loop, but a quick social story got him back on track.

Zane....
Zaney had his 30 month check up. Everything looks good. He does have eczema that we can't seem to clear completely up. The pediatrician thinks milk might be the culprit, but he allergy testing said otherwise. We are going to just keep an eye on it. He has grow a little. He's only in the 6th percentile for height! There are 18mo old kids much taller then him. His weight is average. Zane is a talking fool :) He says so much. I am so happy with all his progress. I was talking to his speech therapist saying I think he will be ready to phase out of speech at three, but she has concerns with his articulation. He does delete a lot of sounds and mixes some sounds up, but is clearly not apraxic!

So for now we continue to enjoy our wonderful summer. :)

It's summer time.

2011-06-14T06:57:00.000-04:00

YAY! Our summer plans....SWIMMING. Gabe loves the pool. I think he might have been a fish in a previous life. Zane is not a huge fan of the pool. He is starting to like it more, but cries the first 15 minutes you put him in the water.

So, we survived our first year of public school. I wish I could say it was a great adventure, but it pretty much sucked. The last part of Gabe's school year was wonderful. His autism support teacher helped him more in 3 months then what the IU did in the two years they were "offering" him services. He has had two good IU experiences....his wonderful speech therapist he started with at 3 and Mrs. P his kindy teacher. I'm just glad the year is over and am looking forward to a good year next fall!

We are coming up on the one year anniversary when Gabe stopped eating food. My how time flies. He is doing great in the eating department now. He still coughs at times while he is eating, but nothing severe and he manages. He hasn't choked in at least a month. Yay!

We from this....

To this.....a happy little 6 year old. I am so proud of all of Gabe's hard work.

The Magical Autism Shirt

2011-05-01T12:29:00.000-04:00

Gabe is now in an autism support class and doing WONDERFUL!!! I can't say enough good things about his teacher. He is reading more, counting like crazy, and doing math!! I never thought we would get past the behaviors in the class to learn. She is a true teacher in every way. That being said....Mrs. Wonderful Teacher sent home an order form for some blue autism awareness shirts. Of course we ordered some for the entire family :)

It's a great shirt in more ways then one. It's cute, it's good quality, it shows our support for autism awareness, and it's MAGICAL. No I'm not crazy. It really is magical. One day Gabe and I were at the store and he was begging for a toy. Everyone that has children has been in this situation. It's not fun. Whining and crying. It stinks. Instead of allowing Gabe to buy yet another toy that would sit and collect dust I offered him juice or a lollipop. He refused both and continued to whine about the toy. During check out time I once again gave him the option and reminded him once I paid there would be nothing. Well, it happened....I paid....and the whopper of a meltdown began. EXCEPT....this time Gabe was wearing the magic blue shirt :) Normally when my six year old acts like a two year old I get stared at, people offer parenting advice, some tell me he's a spoiled brat (I beg to differ since he didn't get the toy), some snot, and some even point! Well....magic shirt takes that all away. Suddenly people are empathetic and caring. Not one person said a word....they all smiled and nodded in this understanding way. We left the store....and I felt good. Gabe of course was still screaming and crying. But that's to be expected sometimes. Long live the magic blue shirt!!

CORN!!!

2011-04-30T08:37:00.000-04:00

Zane had allergy testing done and he is allergic to ragweed, all tree pollens, and CORN! So naturally I want my child to be free from ear infections and congestion so I start reading every label for every food he eats....and everything has CORN in it!!!! Packaging, processing, fillers, derivatives, it's everywhere! I don't know how to escape it. They even powder our fresh fruits and veggies with a corn wax to keep them looking fresh. Matt and I started off small and removed just corn proteins from his diet. So that meant no maize, corn, corn flour, etc. that would still have it's proteins attached to it. Zane still continues to have ear infections and congestion. He also has terrible tummy pain and wakes during the middle of the night. :( So we now have removed corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup. We are also trying to avoid as many derivatives as possible. Removing the derivatives seems the hardest. Citric acid, dextrose, maltose, etc. It's everywhere. I can't imagine getting all of that out of his diet. If I were a stay at home mom I could make everything from scratch, unfortunately I have to work. The plan...one little step at a time. I am going to start working on some corn free recipes ....and go from there.

In the mean time I have found a few things that seem to be 100% corn free. The best one of all is Chobani Yogurt. Zane absolutely loves it. And it's safe for him to enjoy!

Sending Gabe into Battle (an old blog entry I never posted)

2011-02-21T08:05:00.000-05:00

Every day I wake Gabe up at 0700 to get him ready for school. And everyday when I kiss him goodbye I feel like I am sending him to the front lines. He never complains about going to school, but he never says he likes it either. Most days I sit and wonder what the school will do to ruin my sweet little boy. Yep, he can throw a temper tantrum that's unbelievable, but most times it's autism related! I can't imagine what he must feel like sitting there in that class with all those highly verbal children that seem to effortlessly move from one activity to the next. How do I help the school understand how frustrated Gabe is with not understanding what is asked of him and not being able to communicate? How do I explain sensory processing disorder? How can someone who knows nothing of sensory disorders help him? How can I expect his teacher to understand that the florescent lighting in the room could be a trigger to Gabe's behavior. Lighting, sound, people moving, rapid changing of activities. It's all overwhelming to my little autie. Every single sensory system in his body works over time. Sounds are super loud to him, movement is fast and sometimes scary. What will it take for them to understand, how long will it be until they completely destroy his passion for learning????

Latest app!

2011-01-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

Well we loaded another app on the iPad. This one is called sentence builder. Gabe played with it a little tonight and wow it is an awesome app! Gabe made sentences with just a little help from mommy. It uses pictures and Gabe has to build a sentence from what he sees. An example: there were two brown dogs in the picture. Gabe had to build the sentence "these dogs are brown". This might become a favorite work time app!

iPad apps are WoNdErFuL

2011-01-26T09:33:00.000-05:00

Gabe loves the iPad, the iTouch, or anything electronic for that matter. He was playing the computer at 2.5 years old, but not talking, go figure! So we have been using apps for awhile on the iPad and iTouch and I thought I would give a shout out to a couple of them. First on the list is Proloquo2go. It's a fully functional AAC (assisted communication) device. Everything you need to say in one little app at a great price compared to desk top type AAC devices. Gabe is verbal, so he does not need a fancy AAC device, although we have used them in the past and they are amazing and helped Gabe to a great degree. And it's something we still go back and forth on, but for now P2G is awesome! Gabe has severe language issues and word process, word recall issues. So asking for certain items, or trying to tell me something he did at school can be extremely frustrating for him. Words don't always flow quickly, not to mention motor planning is a huge issue. We call it mush mouth. When Gabe says too much at one time and no one can understand him. Proloquo2go bridges the gap for Gabe and decreases those communication breakdowns.

Next on the list. Stories2Learn. This is a social stories app. It allows you to customize your child's social stories. Finally there's an App for that! Gabe loves to run in wide open places and doesn't stop to look for cars. He even struggles to stop when mom and dad yell STOP! So we made a social story about that. On Trick or Treat night we made a social story about walking with mom and dad, no running, saying please and thank you. We all had a blast and Gabe did a great job walking with mommy and daddy!

It's even easy enough my 25mo old can use it. He's already "spelling" words :) Okay...so you can't spell them wrong, but it's still great for learning letters.
The next app I plan on downloading is sentence building! It's a total language based app.

Happy "pod"ing

quotes....

2010-12-20T20:52:00.000-05:00

I was watching a video on YouTube called "Unlocking Autism" and there was a quote from Albert Einstein that I found incredibly moving. "Few see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." How very true. One thing that intrigues me most about Gabe is his pureness. He sees the world for what it is and nothing more. His love is real. His mind is not fogged by what society deems important. Love flows from his body. And he truly sees with his own eyes and feels with his own heart.

Things have been very rough since I last blogged, but one very awesome note of progress....GABE IS EATING!!! Some days are better then others, but he is pretty much back to normal in the food department. School on the other hand is not going so good. Gabe is struggling loads. It was recommended he be placed in an autistic support class because he is having such a hard time within the typical class setting. One of the biggest issues is doing non preferred activities. He hates certain centers. His frustration is climbing to an all time MAX! Gabe's ability to effectively communicate is very small. The school does not have any augmentative forms of communication in place for him at all. There have been so many failed attempts at communicating that Gabe has given up. He resorts to screaming, yelling, and hiding under the table.

His sensory issues are out of control. Loud sounds, soft sounds, the kids moving with in the classroom are upsetting him. He can't stay in his seat and refuses to go to circle time most days. Hopefully the school can figure things out soon. In the mean time we teach him as much as we can at home....although he seems to do a lot of learning on his own. It's amazing what he can figure out by himself.

Harvest Festival 2010

2010-10-07T20:44:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend we enjoyed some family time at the Harvest Festival at Sprout Wood Farms. It was a lot of fun. We saw goats, drank yummy fruit slush's, participated in a drum circle, climbed trees, and listened to some good music.

Zane really enjoyed throwing sticks and stones into the stream with Daddy. The weather was 100% perfect. It was so nice to be outside and enjoy the fresh air. Zane ate a little bit of pretzel and loved riding around on a little kiddie bike they had. He played with another little boy in the family fun area and climbed trees with his brother.

Gabe wasn't so sure about the drum circle at first. He found comfort hiding behind Daddy. It didn't take him long to decide it was okay to participate in the drum circle. He had fun making thunder sounds with the thunder clapper and shaking the maracas! Zane played along too. The drum circle was a way to thank Mother Earth for the wonderful Harvest. People were dancing and have a great time.

I think the best part of the whole day was watching the boys climb in the trees! They were great climbing trees too! Perfect for little feet.

What a wonderful day we had!!

It's been awhile since I have updated...

2010-09-25T19:17:00.000-04:00

And a lot has happened. Gabe started school. Kindergarten! It has been a very big struggle for him. He is having huge problems transitioning. He cries, screams, kicks, spits, throws things, etc. Yesterday was his first day back to school after 5 days off. He had a great day!!! His teachers are using picture schedules, social stories, and tons of sensory items to aid him in transitioning. It seems like they have all their ducks in a row, but it has been a struggle trying to explain Gabe to his regular ed. teachers. They seem to have this idea of what a kindergartner should be able to do, and my child in many ways can do more then the "normal" kindergarten child, but in a lot of other ways he is extremely behind his peers.

Gabe also continues to refuse most food. Just within the last two days we got him to eat baby food bananas and baby food applesauce. Regular applesauce causes him to gag. Because he has such severe food aversions and fears associated with eating it has become necessary to insert a nasal gastric tube to ensure he is getting enough nutrition. Gabe's TSS did manage to get him to chew and swallow a piece of Mario candy. YAY!!! We have an appointment with the GI doctor soon to discuss the need for a more permanent tube called a mic-key tube.

On a more fun note...because this blog is getting pretty depressing...Gabe lost his first tooth on his first day of big kid school. Really I knocked it out! Gabe was fighting me about brushing his teeth and he moved when I was brushing them. That very loose tooth didn't stand a chance against the power of the toothbrush!

Gabe also has been on a gluten free/casein free diet for a week now. One thing I noticed was Gabe's increased use of words. His speech also seems clearer. He isn't working so hard to find the words he needs to communicate! Bonus. It's been very easy going GF/CF because Gabe doesn't eat. I guess that's one advantage to all of this. Hopefully down the road when he decided food really is yummy we will be 100% prepared for the GF/CF diet.

On to Mr. Zane! Wow he is growing like a weed. And starting to use more words. Zane's favorite thing in the world is CARS!!! Just like his brother. When we get out of the car in a packed parking lot all we hear is cars, cars, cars, and it's so cute. The way he says cars sounds like he is from Boston, Ma. I love it.

Zane is loving daycare most days. He only goes 2-3 days a week, but enjoys his friends and teachers. The other day he came home blue! His teacher had blue day and all the kids played in blue jello. I'm sure he had a blast getting all sticky and eating blue jello.

I can't believe he is going to be 2 soon. Where does time go? I tell him all the time to stop growing, but he just doesn't listen!

Zane continues to have speech therapy. We LOVE his therapist. She worked with Gabe for almost two years...and is totally worth her weight in gold! She is till offering great advice for Gabe and I pick her brain every chance I get.

Please eat little Gabe

2010-08-05T19:46:00.000-04:00

My heart is breaking into a million pieces. It has been a month since Gabe started refusing solid foods. He has lost just over six pounds and continues to restrict his diet tomostly yogurt and pediasure. He has eaten a few bites of ice cream here and there, but nothing worthy of counting as calories. Gabriel had an endoscopy done the other day. I was really praying it was a medical issue that could easily be fixed and I would have my little guy back again. It turns out his esophogus is 100% normal. I know I should be happy. And really I am. But fixing the "autism" feeding issue is so much more difficult. Gabe now has to go to a feeding clinic where a therapist will teach him how to eat solid food. I haven't slept in days. All in do is worry about my precious little guy andhow hungry and sad he must be. Even Gabe's behavior is different. He screams in my face and cries at the drop of a hat. I want my sweet lite autie back. I pray every night for him. Please eat little Gabe.

Frustration continues.

2010-07-25T10:04:00.000-04:00

Gabe is down 5lbs. Five! His summer clothes from last year now fit him again. How much weight is the pediatrician willing to allow him to lose before they decide this is something more serious? We took Gabe to the ER on Friday because he was crying that his throat hurt and that he couldn't breathe. That's not behavior. This is not because he has autism. This is something more. My mommy gut is telling me this is not Gabe being fixated on the idea he will choke. My little guy is experiencing real pain and his pediatrician is sitting my idle allowing this to go on. I am watching my son starve himself and no one is listening to me. The ER doctor was the most helpful.

We have Gabe's name on the wait list for the feeding clinic. It could take a couple months to get in there. A COUPLE MONTHS. So what am I suppose to do in the meantime? Let him starve? He is so hungry and he just won' eat. What is probably a physical problem is quickly going to turn itself into a psychological problem.

Frustrated.....completely. :(

please eat little Gabe....

2010-07-19T20:07:00.000-04:00

....day 17....still no food. Gabe is down 3 pounds. He still wants nothing to do with eating. He only wants to drink and eat Spongebob GoGurt. I have had him at the doctor 3 times in the last 7 days with no solid answers. We have tried everything. The doctor is sending him to the feeding clinic. They will be able to assess if he needs scoped, a swallow study, etc. I was holding it together really well, but as each day passes I am finding it harder and harder to deal with this. Gabe is losing ground and I feel like there is nothing I can do to stop it. What is happening to my baby?

Still refusing to eat.

2010-07-15T10:15:00.000-04:00

Gabe is still not eating. We are on day number 12 of this. I bought some strawberry Pedisure. Thank God he likes it. I figure if I just give him 3 of those a day and carnation instant breakfast he should be getting all that he needs. Or close to it. Frustrated.............................

Eat Little Gabe Eat.

2010-07-12T20:18:00.000-04:00

Out of sheer frustration I am blogging. Gabe is on a food strike. It all started with a tummy ache and maybe a sore throat...as Gabe was unable to truly tell me what hurt. Since then it has turned into a fear of eating. He is convinced he will choke if he eats. Today I took him to the doctor and his throat is fine. It's not red, it's not infected, rapid strep was negative. The doctor thinks it could be a virus. I'm praying it is just a virus and not a huge regression. He is also stimming a lot. Tracing the wall with his fingers, flitting his fingers in front of his face, pacing, echoing, etc. I can truly relate to those who have kiddo's with feeding issues. I have a new appreciation as to what their daily lives are like. Gabe has narrowed his food selection down to yogurt and chocolate milk. If I do manage to get something in him it is a couple bites and panic sets in that he will choke.

I'm giving it one more week. Next Monday I plan on talking to his private OT for some guidance as to what steps to take next. Hopefully I won't have to have that conversation with her. How long can a kid live on yogurt and carnation instant breakfast?

Cookie Monster!

2010-07-10T20:26:00.000-04:00

Gabe's first baking/decorating masterpiece! The Cookie Monster. Gabe had a blast rolling these sugary treats in sprinkles and adding spider sprinkles for eyes. He had even more fun eating them.

Our family is loving summer. We are having a great time at the swimming pool and spending some family time at the kitchen table putting together puzzles. Gabe used to be a puzzle nut when he was younger. Hopefully we can bring that back for him. We also broke out the Wii Fit. Gabe and I are doing a daily jog everyday. Maybe he will be a cross county runner someday?!
Zane is busy learning how to talk. He says "ma ma" for mine, mine! It is so cute. And of course I have to take his toys from him just so I can hear him say "ma, ma" and then scream!! He is so loud. He is doing great for his speech therapist. He says or approximates mine, daddy, mama, hot, light, no no and he signs bath, more, thank you, candy. Zane is showing a few signs of autism. He spins a lot and he is starting to rock back and forth on the couch, but is easily distracted. Matt and I both agree we are going to take a sit back and just watch approach as to if Zane may or may not be ASD. In the mean time...loads of reading, tons of floor time, and even more time spent on having FUN!!!

It breaks my heart

2010-06-16T11:44:00.000-04:00

Yesterday while riding home from school, Gabe told me he doesn't like his voice. He said he wants to talk like his cousin. How heart breaking. I don't want Gabe to realize he talks different then other kids. I don't want other kids to make fun of him. It breaks my heart to no end knowing other mean children are going to pick on my baby. I like living in a bubble where I can imagine that all people and all children treat each other with respect. It won't happen. Kids are mean....hell big people are mean. When you don't talk like society thinks you should you are immediately labeled "stupid", "slow", "retarded". Gabe is none of those. The one thing I hate most about autism....Gabe's language issues. If I could fix that today...I would. I can handle the meltdowns, the need for sameness, the spinning, jumping, echoed speech, but when he knows he talks different....I can't handle that. I don't want him to feel less....he is no less then anyone else....and I need him to know that. I love my son...may he always be surrounded by those who love and see him for who he is....he has so much to offer.

Too Much School

2010-06-09T20:36:00.000-04:00

Can there be such a thing as too much learning?? You bet! Poor Gabe is so burned out from school that he cries every time he hears it's a "two school day". The last two days I have kept him at home. He needs the break. We spent an entire Tuesday snuggling and playing Mario Galaxy 2! Then we went swimming. It was a great day.

I am so ready for school to be done. Gabe's going to go to his first ever day camp at LUF. An entire week of fun, fun, fun!

We also decided NO SUMMER SCHOOL (also known as extended school year) for Gabe. It's a last minute decision...but one that I feel is the right choice for Gabe. He is totally therapied out. I can't say I blame him much. Three to four days a week of speech therapy for the last 3 years. And while I know how important intensive therapy is....Gabe still deserves a break for a job well done.

So our summer plans are to be lazy and enjoy the pool...and cut back speech and OT to 2 hours a week. It's going to be a great summer.

Update on the kiddies.

2010-06-01T08:57:00.000-04:00

Zane's tubes have been placed. Yay! He has had one ear infection since then :-( Boo. But seems to be doing better. Matt and I decided it was time to call early intervention for Z, given the fact that he really isn't adding new words and receptively he seems a wee bit delayed. I'm hoping it's just from recurrent ear infections. His words so far are uh uh (UH OH), cat (for everything), dada, hot (for hot, cold and light) and that's it. I was hoping for more by now.

Gabe graduates preschool next week! Then it's off to kindergarten. I am really having a hard time dealing with the idea that he is going to be in school 5 days a week full time. I might have a mini meltdown. My baby isn't my little baby anymore.

Our pool at our complex is open! Woo hoo. Gabe's been swimming twice now. Zane hates it and cries....but Gabe's a fish.

We have lots of fun things planned for this summer and can't wait to sit back and relax!

Tomorrow....is the (cue dramatic voice) IEP meeting.

2010-04-18T19:10:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling a little ill about all this. I'm not too sure what to ask for, how to approach Gabe's needs, or for that matter who will be on Gabe's side, besides me of course. I think I know what he needs, but the school has not always agreed with what I think. They have their own agenda and I can respect the fact they are on a budget, but in all honesty I don't care if the Principal has to take a pay cut so long as my child's needs are met with the "appropriate" services.

I'm reminding myself not to tell the IEP what Gabe needs, but ask what they think would help him. Deep down I know what he needs. I just have to let the educators help me. After all they are the one's who went to school for this, right? Maybe after tomorrow's meeting I might be typing an entirely different post.

Gabe does have a great sped ed teacher. And I hope she is able to convey the importance of sensory breaks during the day for Gabe. Getting OT services for Gabe has been like ripping out teeth on an unsadated crocodile. Very time consuming and dangerous. Gabe has had an OT on consult for some time...and finally we have some sensory outlets in place. I need for those outlets to carry over the the school.

I'm sure I'll be back to post again tomorrow. Prayers needed....and loads of them.

You break my heart...

2010-04-13T16:23:00.000-04:00

...all three of them! Today Gabe stole a high lighter from the UPS store. I made him take it back and say sorry. He also got grounded and couldn't have his cousin over. On the way home he told me "you break my heart, my free (three) hearts." I said, "buddy, you only have one heart" Gabe replied, "my bideo game hab free. I hab free" [hearts] I had to move the mirror so he wouldn't see me chuckling at his comment. How can I get angry with him when he is so gosh darn cute sometimes?

I'll try not to break his three hearts anymore. In the meantime I reminded him he can get more "health" if he eats his green beans.

Zane and the Ears.

2010-04-07T14:38:00.000-04:00

Zane's ears have been the topic of conversation for some time now. He has had one infection after another for more then two months. Thankfully we are getting tubes at the end of the month. And it just can't get here fast enough. I have missed so much work, been called out of work early, lost countless hours of sleep, I think I have a stress induced eye twitch (seriously), and I am just ready for NO MORE EAR INFECTIONS. So, today we went back to the pediatrician...WHY? you ask....another ear infection. BUT this time I have a refill on an antiobiotic....yippie....one less dr. visit we will have to make before tubes go in.

The silly doctor tried to tell me they won't do maintenance antibiotics. So I told the doctor..."Zane's been on an antibiotic for more then two months with a 3-4 day break in between his next round of meds" ....dr....looks at chart...hmmmm...wow...that's a lot of antibiotic "so, can I just get a refill on whatever you are giving him this time so I don't have to come back in 13 days?" I left with my refill. One mom 0 dr. I normally say NO to antibiotics, but we just can't rid this evil bug from Zane's ears

Don't you worry your dirty little head off evil germ bug. It won't hurt you a bit when the ENT sucks you from the depths of my little guys ears. Oh I will get even with you. You have caused much turmoil in this house....and your day will come. April 30th. Judgment day...what would you like for your last meal Mr. Germ? How 'bout a round of zithromax. Whhaaaa hhaaaa haaa.

You see...I have already lost my mind, I'm talking to germs. If tubes don't work.....it's the looney bin for me.

You have teeth....

2010-04-03T09:01:00.000-04:00

This morning in the family bed....during some well deserved snuggle timeGabe noticed for the first time ever, Zane has teeth! His conversation with Zane went something like this...."You hab teefe Zaney. Now you talk. You hab teefe, you get bigger, you be my buddy!" And the smile hasn't come off my face yet. I love my kids....

Can't answer questions....

2010-03-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

I got a note home from Gabe's school ST. She said he is struggling with answering "where" questions and questions pertaining to a story that was just read. Gabe does struggle with this A LOT!!! So I got a brilliant idea. I programmed Gabe's AAC device to have different aspects to a story that I was planning on reading at bedtime. I read the story and he answered every single question with his talker!! Wow....it's amazing how well he did when he had picture prompts in front of him. He even made complete sentences using his talker..."The cat drank the milk", "He went under the ocean" Gabe doesn't talk in complete sentences....so it was great to see him make them on his talker. I did have to do some prompting to get him to use the, he, etc. It's a start. We are going to read the same book tonight...this time I am not going to do as much prompting.

I also talked to the AT team at AI duPont. The speech therapist there is going to do a complete AAC evaluation with Gabe to address his word retrieval and pragmatic language issues. I hope we can get in soon. I am so excited. I should hear from them on Thursday or Friday. YAY!! We have been using P2G with great success...it's time to think about a device that can do more. Don't get me wrong...We LOVE proloquo2go. It's a wonderful aac device...and very portable. It's worth every penny. But I would like to get some solid answers from an AAC evaluator with an SLP/CCC degree. I can't wait to go to duPont.

"Don't you think it's time....

2010-03-07T06:14:00.000-05:00

....for Gabe to give up his nunny (pacifier)" My mom says to me the other day. Gabe just turned 5 and now it seems that everyone who "understood" why Gabe still used a pacifier thinks we need to break the habit. I agree, it does look silly that my five year old is walking around with a nunny. But for now...he needs it...a lot!

Yesterday my mom took Gabe bowling. He went with three of his cousins and a few family friends. Gabe has been bowling two other times. Both times he struggled to stay with the game. But he was 3 and just 4 when we went. I thought now that he is five (it's a magic age) he will do just fine.

I told Gabe no nunny when you bowl. When Grandma came to get him he willingly placed nunny on the table and quickly ran to get in Grandma's car. Honestly I was impressed. "Go Gabe!"

About an hour later my mom calls me...."Never, ever, ever let me leave your house without a nunny!" HA....not ha that Gabe was having a hard time...but HA because now it became very clear to my mom why Gabe still needs his nunny.

The poor kid went into sensory overload. He chewed his sleeve to a wet soppy mess, rolled all over the floor, cried easily, and just couldn't stay focused to bowl.

Once again....nunny stays!

Because sometimes "they" don't listen

2010-02-26T09:15:00.000-05:00

I have decided this blog will be best suited not only to pour out my heart and soul as a way to vent, but to also keep track of how Gabe is doing in school and at home. Recently I went to an autism meeting and the guest speaker was WONDERFUL. She reminded everyone to keep track of the things our children struggle with, so that they may later be used to help gain services. That's my plan with the blog site.

This week I got a note home from the teacher that Gabe is having a hard time attending. I decided I would sit in on a class and watch him. Sure enough I found him spinning on the carpet and not paying attention. He did follow along with the group at times, but then would head off into Gabe land.

At story time I noticed he would not join the group. I decided to sit on floor with him. He sat on my lap and joined the other kids for story time. While the teacher read the story Gabe twirled my hair. He was calm and relaxed. He even answered questions about the book!!! The next day I wrote a letter stating Gabe's need for sensory breaks and ways to help him pay better attention at circle time. And low and behold...I got a letter back. It was from the special ed teacher, written in all red (brought back some good old school memories). She agreed to ask the OT for some sensory break ideas and a wiggle pad for Gabe's bum. The catcher to all this...she wrote "maybe it will help with behavior at home". Ugh.

Yes, Gabe gets home from school and spends a good amount of time stimming and getting his energy out, but I don't need him to focus at that time. I didn't ask for the OT to help for things to be better at home. I really feel like they just don't listen to me.

Sometimes I feel like saying..."you deal with it" But I know the consequences to that. My niece was left at the hand of the school district. She's struggled her for entire educational career and was misdiagnosed via the school. I will not let that happen to my son. I can see him struggling already. I will not be a mom that sits back and shrugs my shoulders. The school can think whatever they want about me. In the end I will know that I did everything in my power to help Gabe have full access to his education.

Rollerskating

2010-02-20T08:05:00.001-05:00

Gabe's going rollerskating for the first time ever today. He is so silly. Gabe thinks he needs to take his scooter. I told him scooters aren't allowed and he cried because he thinks rollerskating is skateboarding. "I not know how to skateboard" "I fall" Awww....I made sure to tell him there are no skateboards allowed.

I can't wait to see how he does.

Watching Gabe struggle

2010-02-15T20:39:00.000-05:00

Nothing hurts more then to watch your child struggle with things that other children seemingly grasp all on their own. Why doesn't Gabe's brain allow him to communicate like other children? What does the world think of him? What will people think of him when he is older? Will they think he is stupid?

I see the way grown adults look at him. I see their questioning eyes. If only they understood why he cannot answer their questions. If only they took the time to see Gabe for Gabe. He is such an amazing kid. His eyes speak a thousand words.

Today was a rough speech day. Gabe struggled all day long trying to tell me about his needs and wants. He tried to tell his speech teacher today that he wanted to play with the trains before he started speech, but he couldn't find the words he needed. I could have cried right there in the office. I knew what he wanted, but I can't be there for him all the time.

I wish I could protect him from the world. Keep him safe in a bubble. Protect him from the mean people that always seem to have "helpful" advice.

Some days I just want to sit and cry. Running here, running there, this appointment, that appointment. Speech therapy, IEP's, psych evals, neuro appointments. I feel stretched thin as it is....and then days like today...they tear my heart apart.

More snow...and the meltdown.

2010-02-09T21:51:00.000-05:00

We have about 20 inches of snow on the ground. After tomorrows snow stops dumping on us we are going to have about 38-40 inches of snow of the ground. Zane can surely forget about going out to play in that snow. He's only 28 inches tall. :-)

You would think all the snow would be gone after Gabe's massive meltdown today. Our whole day was thrown off. Gabe had an appt. with the psychologist so we didn't have school today. He was not happy about missing school. Morning was a little rough. I had to do loads of prompting and redirecting to get him motivated. After our appt. with the psychologist I took Gabe to McDonald's. On a happy note Gabe said Maaac doooals...normally he calls it mic hap u. So I was very very excited that he tried to say it the right way!

We went back to Gabe's daycare to have lunch and so that he could have some down time with friends. I had another meeting to go to at Gabe's school and then I had to go to the grocery store for bread and milk. It is snowing again! :-) Once cannot survive a snowstorm without bread and milk. And of course loads of junk food.

After all my running around was complete....I headed back to daycare to pick up the boys. Gabe was NOT coming with me. He threw his shoes at me, screamed, cried, kicked, hit me, ran from me, laughed at me, and did just about every except listen. I had to take the baby out first, then come back in to get Gabe ready to go. Needless to say....he left without his shoes or socks on...and no coat either. It was just one of those days....

Change in routine = one unhappy little boy and one unhappy mommy.

Zane's Dr.'s appt.

2010-02-09T21:50:00.000-05:00

Zane is an itty bitty. He is only 28.5 inces tall. My little snooker. Poor baby got two shots today. I talked to the Dr. about Zane "lost" speech. He stopped saying momma and kitty. His Dr and I both agree to keep an eye on him...but that it's probably related to learning to walk. Also, Zane has been doing this walking in a circle thing. That has me a wee concerned....but mostly no....not concerned at all. Matt and I have talked about it, and if Zane in on the spectrum....that's okay. He'll just be cool like his brother.

Winter....

2010-02-06T19:54:00.000-05:00

Our big 2010 snow storm!!

Gabe loved the snow.

Zane watched from inside.

Milo enjoyed the snow too!

First ever Autism meeting.

2010-02-06T19:42:00.001-05:00

I went to my first autism support group for parents meeting. It was wonderful. My mom and I went. It felt so good to be sitting in the company of others that are on the same journey as my family is. Gabe got to play while I got to sit and listen to others stories and share our own story. I can't wait to go again. This is exactly what I needed.

As far as Gabe goes. He is doing rather well. School is going well for him. He is being more social with peers. According to his TSS he still reverts back to Mario brothers during his play, but at least he is using his imagination! I am very proud of all of Gabe's hard work.

I went to the pre screening kindergarten meeting yesterday. I asked for a full psychological test to be done. I am excited for Gabe to start kindy. I think he will do just fine.

Zane is doing great too. He is an official walker and he get into EVERYTHING!!! He is sick right now. We have been battling a double ear infection for over two weeks. And to top it off he started wheezing. So now he has to do breathing treatments. Bllaaa! He goes back to the Dr. on Monday. Hopefully those ears are all cleared up...I can't wait to see if he has grown. He is such an shorty. Healthy weight...but very short.

Teeth...teeth...and more teeth.

2009-11-28T22:22:00.000-05:00

Zane got his two top teeth at the beginning of the month. He has 4 now!! I looked in his mouth today and I saw another bottom one that is just breaking skin...and two more on the top that are darn near ready to poke out. Wow...8 teeth in like 3mo. Poor little guy. His mouth has to hurt so bad.

Gabe is doing well in preschool. We did have an issue with him running away from the teacher and almost into the road. It was scary. He is so fast.

We are moving next week. I cannot wait. Gabe is going to love his new toy room. Maybe he will do some actual playing in the play room. Christmas is right around the corner and we will get to celebrate the Holiday in our new home. It's just so exciting.

Gabe is starting school

2009-11-10T21:21:00.000-05:00

What a busy busy month. We are moving the first of Dec. YAY!! I cannot wait to move. Gabe is starting school. Another exciting moment for us. He will be in a preschool with a mix of neuro-typical kids and non NT kids like Gabe. I really think this is going to be something good for him.

How Ironic.

2009-10-01T17:27:00.000-04:00

All the hype in the media is the H1N1 virus and the vaccine. As many of my friends and family know...I am not a huge fan of vaccines. Tonight on the local evening news they were reporting on the H1N1 vaccine and how it does not contain thymerosol. The news anchor then went on to say thymerosol is not dangerous according to the CDC. My little lovely Gabe happened to be in the living room and walked out into the kitchen repeating CDC, CDC, CDC, CDC. Hmmmm....there's no danger in thymerosol. For those of you that don't know Gabe, he has echolalia and repeats lines from TV shows and parts of speech repetitively...it's a symptom of autism. Thymerosol is thought to cause autism and Gabe has autism spectrum disorder. Just thought it was ironic.

ADOS testing.

2009-09-19T10:40:00.000-04:00

Gabe had the ADOS testing with the school on Wednesday. It went well. The ladies that did the test were very nice. I am not sure what to think of the results yet. They place him not on the spectrum. I emailed a psychologist that does the testing for a living and he said kiddo's with pdd-nos can test and show results not looking like they are on the spectrum. The two gals doing the test said that as well and they are going to go see Gabe at school. I wish they could see him out in public or even just spend the day with him so they can appreciate his perservations and restricted interests.

I am having his TSS be at daycare when they come because he wants to talk to them. It really doesn't matter if the school district dx's Gabe with an ASD. My biggest issue is he is not getting appropriate services. Hopefully, with all my yelling and screaming he will get better help. If not...I'll go the legal route. I have no problems fighting for my child's education.

Some recent pictures.

2009-08-31T07:48:00.000-04:00

Gabe's front teeth are fixed and Zane sat up on his own!

2009-08-21T14:12:00.000-04:00

Gabe had his dental surgery yesterday. All went well. He has been sensory seeking and stimming a lot since then, but I don't think it has anything to do with the surgery. His front caps on his teeth look different, but I am sure in time I will get used to it. It just makes me sad that his teeth were that damaged and he had to have a root canal on them :-(.

Zane went from laying on the floor to a sitting position last night! He also said dadadada on Sunday and he got his very first tooth on Wednesday. He has had such a busy week. I can't believe he is going to be 8mo soon. He is getting so big.

This weekend we are going to a picnic with some of my friends from work. I hope Gabe behaves. And then we have a birthday party to go to as well. Daddy took off on Monday and I am thinking a trip to the Harbor might be nice. They have a lot of cool things there for kids. The last trip we took to the Harbor was cut very short by one stinky little boy. Gabe had one of the biggest tantrums and we had to leave. Maybe this time will be different.

mouthing and chewing

2009-08-05T09:44:00.000-04:00

Sounds like the title of this post should be about Zane....but no...it's about Gabe. He is getting worse with mouthing things. We saw a decrease in his desire to put everything in his mouth, but the past month or so it's getting really bad again. I have tried his wiggle toys, chewy foods, sour foods, spicy foods, etc to "wake" up that mouth of his. So far today I have found a paint brush, a car, some paper, and his fingers in his mouth. I feel like all I say anymore is "please not in your mouth Gabe" I wonder how many non edible items my son has eaten in his 4 years of life?

Zane is growing so big

2009-07-22T13:05:00.000-04:00

Zane had his 6mo checkup. Well it was more like almost 7mo checkup. They canceled his first one. He grew 3 inches and gained 2 pounds. His head is HUGE. He is in the 20th % for weight and height...but his head is in the 88%. WOW!!!

Zane isn't crawling yet and still tips over when he is sitting...but I'm not in a big hurry to have him crawl. We don't have any gates up yet. Zane actually prefers to be in his jumper chair more then on the floor. He loves to make that thing bounce. He is such a crazy baby in it!

I just can't believe Zane is almost 7mo old. Where in the world does time go?

Sonic

2009-07-01T20:27:00.000-04:00

Gabe LOVES video games...more then any kid out there. I'm sure of it :-). He is obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog right now. Everything Sonic. Even his name is Sonic. I dare not call him Gabe. I remember a time when I couldn't call him anything but Gabe. Not even my "cutie pie". He would say..."NO, I Gabe" and I would just smile...now it's Sonic. I guess I am going to have to start looking for a Sonic costume for Halloween! Planning ahead...way ahead. I am sure it's not going to be east finding one...watch out ebay...here I come.

So Zane went to the dr. today. It's an ear infection. He is now on Zithromax for 5 days. I thought it was a three day thing...but his bottle of med says 5 days. I should call the dr. in the morning. He is sooo fussy poor little guy. In between the fussiness he smiles and plays.

We are skipping the fire works this year. Zane freaks out over loud noises. He is so not like his brother. Gabe didn't even flinch when he was a baby...he went to the fire works at 4mo and he didn't even bat an eye when the very loud cannons went off...not Zane though...if I yell at the cat he cries...

I better get off the computer...there's a big storm

no teeth, ear infection, wraparound

2009-06-29T21:27:00.000-04:00

So Zane wasn't getting teeth. Nope...he had another ear infection. He just finished antibiotics...and I am thinking he still has one...so I am calling the dr. tomorrow. Zane is still just rolling over...no crawling or any real sign that it will happen. He continues to droll like crazy. I really thought he was getting those teeth. He realized he has thumbs...and he loves to push his thumb down on my arm, daddy's arm, the floor, his toys, or what ever he can and wiggle it back and forth...he does that when he is really tired. It's cute!

Gabe started wraparound. He was pretty good for the BSC and the TSS. The TSS did go out with us in public and noticed his stimming. He also ran from me but not too far. I am so glad we are doing wraparound. I think Gabe is going to learn a lot from these two ladies!!! And they are both really nice.

We took the kids to the amusement park over the weekend. Gabe LOVED the water park. Zane screamed. He hated the cold water...even the slow running baby water park. Finally we just covered him with his blanket and towel and he went to sleep. As long as no water hit him he was okay. If even a sprinkle hit him he cried! We tried to watch the live musical show they had but both boys were minding the loudness. Gabe kept his hands by his ears...and then every now and then he moved them and covered his brothers ears. It made me smile that he was worried about Zane.
Gabe rode every ride he could. He even rode a small roller coaster...and loved it. I figured he would like the fast rides...he is such a sensory seeker. The fast ones are right up his alley! It was a great day.

bleeping bank....

2009-06-14T06:44:00.000-04:00

ERRRR.....AHHHHH.....My flipping bank changed names. They say they bought out another bank...but I don't buy it...if they bought out the bank then why did they change names? Hmmm...why? And they have to change their whole online banking system...and now I can't check my account and when I went to use my ATM card the flipping thing wouldn't work. I got denied. Do you know how embarrassing that is? And I had deposited cash....hard cash..not a check. That money should be available right away. Oh I am so flipping mad. Then I tried to call them...and whole phone system is down. And this is from a bank that had a "no merger mania" saying. BULL SHIT! Maybe it is time to go with a credit union...or there is always the mattress. Seriously....this is insane. Oh someone is going to get an ear full.....They are lucky I had cash to pay for my groceries that's all I have to say....

Wraparound...can't start soon enough

2009-06-08T18:58:00.000-04:00

WOW....Gabe is a wild child. He can't stay still for 2 seconds. His behavior is yucky. He tells me NO, is running from me all. the. time. and hitting at me. It's just rough in general. And the baby is getting his bottom teeth. Everyone at our house is miserable.

Tomorrow is our intake meeting for wraparound services. They can't come soon enough. Gabe is sensory seeking like mad. Maybe the change in weather? I don't know. But he can't stop climbing. He is climbing on me as I type this. He runs everywhere, has been screaming, jumping in places, spinning, and bouncing off everything. Oh, and he drew on my walls two times in two days.

Zane's teeth must really be hurting him because he is crying all the time. The good news is...he slept through the night two nights in a row. Last night he woke up twice, but I think his teeth were hurting. He is still rolling over and I am convinced he will be crawling by the end of next month. I guess it's time to get some gates. We'll all be living in a gated community for the next couple years.

I am so looking forward to our wraparound meeting tomorrow. Yay...I am sure Gabe isn't going to like the change. He is going to have to learn to walk with mommy and daddy now and we are going to learn better ways to help autistic kids understand and follow rules. I can't wait....

Catching up...

2009-05-28T20:41:00.000-04:00

Well this has been a busy week. Zane is finally really rolling over. Not that he is late to do this...he has just been trying like hell for the past 3 or 4 weeks. That darn arm was tricking him up every time. It still does a little, but he figures it out much quicker now. We had tried rice cereal with Zane. The first try went well the second try not so well...and the third even worse. We gave up for now and will try again in a few weeks. He gags terrible no matter how thin I make the cereal.

I had to work 4 12's in a row this past week. It almost killed me. I can do 3 12's but that fourth one really does me in...not to mention...I really missed my family.

Gabe had his wraparound appt. on Tuesday. It went really well. He was approved for 10hrs a week but we opted for 5 to start. That way we can get a feel of the program and they can get a feel as to where Gabe struggles.

I can't wait for everything to start. I think it is really going to help his social skills...

People are just amazing (insert sarcastic tone here)

2009-05-10T11:34:00.000-04:00

I feel like I should advocate for autism awarness. Autism has touched my life, my family's life, Gabe's life. Autism does not define Gabe...it's just part of Gabe. There is more to him then language disorder, or stimming, or social issues. There is this loving, beautiful, funny little guy...who can just light up a room when he enters.

I have had people ask me about their kids and if I have an opinion. I always tell them...if you think something isn't right...have them evaluated. I never tell people their children are on the spectrum....I have seen kids in public, even adults for that matter and jokingly said..."that one's definitely on the spectrum" A lot of that is my way of dealing with everyday autism...a way to lighten things up for me...an outlet maybe...kind of like nervous laughter...BUT I would never tell someone their child was autistic...not in a million years...but amazingly enough...I have been accused of that...how sad...It kind of makes me not want to advocate for autism...or be outspoken about something that effects my every waking moment....

I have had people tell me autism is just a cop out, a way to make an excuse, not real, the new ADHD, etc. I blame the media 100% for this. Which, I think is crap! I used to be jealous of people who had "normal" children...not anymore...who wants to be normal...it's no fun anyway...my life is an adventure everyday...I never know what's around the bend. Not to mention I think I can appriciate the small things much more then a parent with a NT kid. I waited 32mo to hear Gabe say ma. I never, ever get tired of hearing that word. I hear parents complain about their 4 year old's endless talking...I cherish every second of Gabe talking.

So, to all you people who thinks autism is a FAKE disorder...you better wake up...if 1 out of 150 kids were missing...we would have an epidemic....we do now...it's autism.

Real talking....

2009-05-02T21:03:00.000-04:00

Below is a short clip of Gabe free talking. Where I am not repeating most of what he says. He is talking about Lightening McQueen. Gabe does not sustain conversation very well. This is what he sounds like in a "normal" conversation where I am not prompting or leading him as to what he should say. Gabe does have a lot of very good clear speech as you can hear in the bubble blowing clip below. Most of his clear speech are things we have taught him to say. Or things that he uses everyday. Or what we call well rehearsed speech.

Just recently we purchased an AAC (talker computer) program called proloquo2go. It is run on Gabe's ipod touch. It runs the same as any other talker only it is smaller.
I am hoping this helps with some conversational speech. It did open up communication with daddy yesterday. Gabe told Matt he saw Obama on a plate at he store. It was great seeing him share something like that. Not to mention having your own ipod touch at 4 is pretty damn cool!

2009-05-02T21:02:00.001-04:00

Fussy baby, rice cereal, rolling over and infected ears...

2009-04-28T19:25:00.001-04:00

My mom kept Zane this weekend because I had to work. She said he acts like he is hungry all the time. She told me he cried a lot and seemed not to be satisfied by his milk. So I said to try some formula. He HATED it...and cried when she tried to feed it to him. So, she said I need to start him on rice cereal. We tried yesterday. he did pretty good but didn't sleep through the night. In fact he was up more often...but he woke up with a 101.6 fever so that might have had something to do with it.

I took Zane to the dr. today and he has bilateral ear infections. Poor kid. They started him on an antibiotic...I hope he feels better soon. We tried the rice cereal again tonight...but he cried through the whole process. So I just gave up. I don't think he is ready for cereal.

Zane started rolling over this weekend too. Well he isn't really the whole way over...his arm gets stuck...but he is almost there! Zane is getting too big too fast. He weighs 13lbs 12oz and is 23in long.

2009-04-18T10:51:00.001-04:00

Let the screaming continue

2009-03-26T19:38:00.000-04:00

Oh boy...Gabe is still at it. He had speech today. He had some nasty behavior but his ST did a great job redirecting. Well I guess he had too much redirecting with her that he couldn't be redirected with me. He always gets a prize after speech. Just ONE prize. Mr. Gabe thought he had to have TWO. I tried to help him pick one...but there was no way he was giving up. He ended up with NO prize. I had to physically carry him out of the office leaving Zane in his car seat sitting with other clients.

Absolutely devastated this time...one of the gals I work with had her son in for his ST and she saw the whole thing. She knows Gabe has an autism dx...but still...it was rather upsetting. I didn't cry this time. Gabe had two more meltdowns at home. I made him take a nap today. So far this evening he has been pretty good.

I decided I am calling for a TSS. I don't care if Matt doesn't want Gabe to have one. I can't deal with a baby and a child that is running from me in the parking lot. There is a huge safety issue there. Not to mention Gabe has started hitting me.

Wish I knew what was going on that is causing all these tantrums. hmmmm...

The Shot

2009-03-25T21:49:00.000-04:00

Everyone that knows me has had their ears talked off about vaccine's by me! I have been researching vaccine's since Gabe was dx'd with autism. I don't think vaccine's caused his ASD but who knows. What I learned was vaccine's have a whole lot of yuck in them. I decided that I am going to vax Zane very, very, very, slowly. That means one shot every month or two...and no combo shots excepts for DTaP because you can't get it separated. Because of Matt's and my decision to go slow and delete some vaccine's we were kicked out of our old pediatricians office! Doh.

Well today Zane got his first vaccine. He got DTaP. He seems to be okay. A bit fussy but not too bad. He did however act really weird when he woke from a nap. In fact, I thought he was having a seizure. His little arms were flailing around and his eyes looked weird...but it was over too quick and I think it was a really bad startle reflex. He woke up and was on his back and I think it scared him. He doesn't like to lay on his back. Of course it scared the hell out of me and I screamed for Matt...but Zane was okay by the time he came into the bedroom. So, I think it is me just being a crazy momma. I won't take my eyes off of him now!

Why does the big Pharm have to put such nasty things in our children....

I thought about going vax free...but with me working in the medical field I am afraid of bringing things home to my children. Hopefully this shot doesn't do anything to Zane. He is perfect in every way. He coo's and make beautiful eye contact. He is interested in people's faces...and I don't want any of that to fade away....

....already dreading shot number two.....

The weekend Melt Down...

2009-03-23T10:38:00.000-04:00

Wow...who ate my child. Gabe has meltdowns here and there. Some are extremely unpleasing. Not that any are a fun ride, but the one on Saturday takes the prize.

I took both kids to the store! My first big mistake. Everything was going great until we hit the cereal aisle. "Gabe,pick a cereal buddy" My second mistake...which proved to be catastrophic in nature. "Cereal sticks mom" says Gabe. "No not this time kiddo. Please pick something else" That was all I needed to say. From then on it was full screaming, crying, yelling "let me go", hitting, kicking, and maybe even some spitting.

I have been embarrassed in the store before, but this time I was devastated. I could feel people staring at me. I dare not make eye contact with anyone...because at any given moment I was going to lose it and start screaming and crying.

I quickly finished shopping and proceeded to the check out. Gabe continued screaming and kicking. Now however he was locked into the cart...I had to pull the cart for fear of being kicked by flying feet. The check out lady said "hows your day" I just looked at her with those "you have to be kidding me eyes...and said could be better"

Gabe managed to scream and cry for over and hour. He ran from me in the parking lot...and continued screaming and crying once we got home. Needless to say I cried pretty much the whole way home too. Daddy tried to help...but Gabe ran from him too! Finally I got Gabe to let me hold him...and I rocked him and rocked him...and his little body relaxed...as did I...until the baby started crying...oh boy!

Gabe had another melt down on Sunday but not near as bad. I hope this is just the weather changing. Gabe is not a perfect child. He has some behavior issues...but usually I can redirect him. There was no redirecting this weekend...And the running from me in the parking lot is just...well...it's just scary.

I hope this week turns out to be better....

Sick kids and going back to work

2009-03-08T20:46:00.000-04:00

Wow....I have to go back to work on Tuesday. Where did time go? I have really enjoyed my time off. Sure wish I could be a stay at home mommy. Oh well working two days a week and every other weekend isn't so bad.

So Gabe is a sick cookie. He keeps running high fevers. Looks like we are going to have to head to the dr tomorrow. Not what I wanted to be doing right before going back to work...but that's what it looks like I am going to have to do.

I took Zane off the zantac. It wasn't helping. He still screams his head off. His new dr. suggested I not drink or eat milk products. Ugh that is hard. I love cereal in the morning. I just started the no milk thing...so hopefully that helps Zane's tummy issues.

We had to change dr.s recently because we got kicked out of our old office for not vaccinating Zane. Our new dr. is AWESOME! They said we can do our vaccine how ever we want. Nice and slow go the vaccine's for little baby Zane.

Other then poor sick Gabe...things are going rather well. I am excited to go back to work...but will miss all my time at home...

busy life

2009-02-13T21:56:00.000-05:00

Wow have we been busy. Speech three days a week, dr's appt., family outings, etc. Everyone is doing pretty well in the monkey household. Gabe has adjusted rather nicely to Zane. He is having more anxiety over small things...like broken crayons, or things that are out of place. I have also noticed his sensory issues rearing their ugly head more and more. He has to touch everything, and his fingers are in his mouth almost all the time. I have been letting him use his pacifier more just so I can keep those fingers out of his mouth. Gabe has another OT eval next month. Hopefully, he can get some OT through the school district and some of his sensory issues will take a back seat.

Zane is growing like a weed. I can't believe how big he is getting. He nurses like a champ but he is way fussy. He was dx'd with reflux and started on zantac but I think it is more of a colic thing. He spends most of his awake hours crying unless someone is holding him. I made a moby wrap and he loves to be snuggled inside of it or his sling. I love the moby because it puts him up higher and I can get more done when I am "wearing" him.

So, I have turned into a breast feeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, hippie momma....and I LOVE IT!!!!

The Baby is here!

2009-01-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

December 30,2008. Baby Zane arrived screaming!! He weighed in at 7lb 12oz and 20in long. Gabe is doing rather well with the baby. He still calls him Spaceship and gets upset if we call him Zane. Gabe is having a hard time with the crying...but doing better then I would have ever thought. Zane is adjusting to everything well. When I have more free time I will update.

Christmas is near

2008-12-21T19:48:00.000-05:00

And so is the birth of Gabe's little brother. We are all very excited. I have a scheduled c-section for December 30th. I am very nervous about having a c-section but I know I can get through it. We keep doing social stories with Gabe about the birth of his baby brother. I let him pick out some pacifiers for the baby and he helped pick a bottle brush. Matt and I are hoping this little baby doesn't rock Gabe's world too much. We are expecting some set backs, but hoping not too many. My biggest fear is he will regress in the potty area. He is doing pretty good with the potty and I don't want to see that go backwards.

Gabe's behvior has been a little rocky the past few weeks. But I am sure I have been snappy with him too. The whole house has been sick off and on. Poor Gabe has been sick the longest. We might even need a trip to the Dr. to get him some antibiotics. So, I am cutting him some slack in the behavior dept. But only a little slack :-)

Gabe recently learned how to count to 20. He skips a few numbers here and there and not all the numbers are understandable to the unfamiliar ear, but it is a big step for him. He wanted nothing to do with counting past 3 for a long time. And would only count 1,2,3,3,2,1 and would get mad if you made him count higher.

He is becoming more flexable. Although, he is still very ridgid in most things. Transitioning is often hell on earth. He has managed to memorize a lot more of the TV shows he watches. So now we hear..."It's puzzle time" and "no more no less" and the moon sand song. (Thanks for that one B!!!)

Turkey Day is upon us

2008-11-26T19:45:00.000-05:00

I can't believe tomorrow is Turkey day. I am so excited. Mostly because it means I am closer to having this little baby. I love being pregnany but this time I am so tired. Chasing Gabe and not sleeping are wearing me out. I don't sleep more then 2 hours at a time. It is horrible. I pray every night before I go to bed that I will sleep and every night I wake up all night long. It is making me a miserable "B" and I know it. I wish I wasn't feeling that way.

Gabe is doing pretty good. He actually did some pretend play last night. It was so cool. I don't get to see pretend play very often. We have been doing social stories about the baby coming. We started about a week ago. I tell him the same story about the day the baby is born in hopes that it won't rock his little world too much.

As far as Gabe behavior...it is something to be desired right now. He is having a really hard time transitioning and he keeps leaving his room at preschool. He also won't sit and eat dinner and he won't sit still for his preschool teacher either. We are looking into getting him a special seat coushin to help with some of his sensory issues. Hopefully it will work. I am also thinking a weighted vest might do him some good.

Gabe hasn't had OT since the idiot we saw before. I do have the name of an OT but with the baby and everything I have put off calling her. I should do put a call in before the baby is born...just incase there is a waiting list.

Potty training

2008-10-28T08:17:00.001-04:00

Well I think we did it!! Yay! Gabe has been wearing nothing but big boys for the whole week now. He had two accidents over the weekend. But that's okay. I am so excited...I'm not going to have two kids in diapers.

Sounds....

2008-10-14T20:03:00.000-04:00

Gabe has always been a little sensetive to sound. But nothing that really worried me. Here lately he is having a miserable time dealing with noise. Even little noises are bothering him. Today I was reading the newspaper and Gabe was covering his ears and crying that the noise was loud. When my mom and I are talking in my car he sits in the back seat and screams "no noisey" I have taught him to cover his ears but this only helps for a few minutes. Yet loud bangs don't even seem to phase him.

I sure hope this doesn't last long. I wish Gabe would keep a headphones on...or earplugs in.

so busy...

2008-09-29T19:46:00.001-04:00

Things have been busy at our house. We decorated for fall, started the potty training process, continue 3 days a week of therapy, and work. Gabe is doing pretty good with the potty training. I refuse to go back to diapers. He still has accidents everyday but we just remind him that it's okay to have accidents. He isn't stressed at all and honestly Matt and I aren't either.

The baby is really starting to get strong. I can really feel him moving around now. The other night I swore he was going to jump out of my tummy. I can't believe we are going to be adding another little boy to our family. I am so excited.

Gabe decided that he wanted to be spiderman for halloween. This is the first year that he picked his costume. I wanted him to be a monkey, but it's a no go. He insists on Spiderman. That's okay. As long as he has fun. We are planning on having a small Halloween party for the young kids in our family. I can't wait.

Gabe is starting to talk more. He is starting to form natural conversational speech. Though it is still choppy and he gets very confused with statements that we say back to him. We here a lot of huh? His processing time seems to be slow. Hopefully that catches up.

Everyday is a new day...

He is....he isn't....he is....??? Does anyone know?

2008-09-12T09:36:00.000-04:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Is there an easy answer to all of this? I am so tired of hearing one therapist say...yes, Gabe is autistic...then hear another one say...no way...then we get a dx from the neuro. But no direction on where to go. Then the school starts their eval and says...no Gabe isn't autistic...but the neuro at the next appt says...yes he is...

So, I do have a request in for an eval with the child psych at hershey...I am calling to see where he is on the list.

In the mean time I started Gabe in OT for some sensory stuff...now the OT doesn't want to work with him...because she says it isn't sensory it is behavior and OCD and ODD and some ADHD...but she see no autism...FINE....don't work with him...but how can I tell if he is acting a certain way because his little senses don't know how to process what is going on....or if it is straight behavior. Some things are no brainer...smart mouth...behavior...other things are not so easy...like running around the grocery store shaking his head back and forth...and spinning in circles....he isn't being bad then...just not really listening that he needs to stay with me...is it behavior or sensory...are the people bothering him? Are the lights and sounds bothering him? How come he wasn't doing acting that way before the store. How come the rest of his day was shot after going to the store? WHY?

She told me she doesn't know how to help him....yet his private ST says OT would be good for him...I just can't stand this....Here I am with this kid who has an autism dx...who can't sit still to play one game of candy land but can sit for hours and watch the TV or play a video game....I don't know who to go to for help....what I should be doing to help him...other then what I am already doing....and if he can't sit to do work now...how the hell is he going to do it in school? I know he is only 3.6 years old and sitting to do work isn't really important yet...but he will sit and do puzzles with me...and play video games...and anything that is Gabe guided...but as soon as I or anyone else for that matter says we are doing this and Gabe doesn't like that idea...all hell breaks loose....

I am tired of all of this...where is my freaking autism manual? And why do some people say Gabe is autistic....and other people say no way...."they" all tell me not to compare my kid to other kids....yet they are doing just that when it comes to autism...

I can't wait to go see the child psych at hershey....so my kid with a pinch of autism, a dab of OCD, a speck of ODD, and a dash of ADHD can be evaluated. Oh, and lets not forget the dx of apraxia of speech and expressive language disorder...If Gabe's dx's were credentials his name would look like this

Gabriel C. ASD,OCD,ADHD,ODD,CAS,SID,ELD

and me...after surviving all of this silliness I want my name to be

Jessie. Phd....

It's a boy!

2008-08-20T20:10:00.000-04:00

Well, we found out what's cooking in my tummy. We are adding a new little boy to the family. Gabe still insists it's a girl and now tells me he has a girl in his tummy!! I am so excited to be having another baby. To be honest I had my heart set on a girl but I have had a change of heart. It will be great for Gabe to have a little brother. And I think I am more cut out for boys. Girls are just too dramatic for me. I can't wait to get out all the baby stuff. Still a little early yet...

My son is a yo-yo

2008-08-11T18:31:00.000-04:00

Just last week I was so excited that Gabe was making better eye contact and acting more NT then he has in a long time. Well, that's all gone after this weekend. What a stinker. Tantrums out the waazoo over the silliest stuff. It didn't matter what I did to help him I just wasn't doing it the right way. And the poor cat was tourtured consitantly. Not to mention he ran away from me while we were outside and went right for the road. Luckily the neighbor can run fast and got him. Gabe smacked him in the face when he picked him up. Gabe also smacked me in the face this weekend. He has never hit me or any other adult before. I sure hope this isn't the start of something. He even refused to go to bed on Sat and was up well past midnight! No matter what I did he just would not go to sleep. I sure hope this week ends better!

Looking at mommy

2008-08-05T10:31:00.000-04:00

Gabe doesn't have very good eye contact. He says hello and goodbye to me without even looking at me but the past week or so his eye contact has improved. He actually stares into my eyes sometimes. I love looking at those big blue eyes. There is even an added sparkle that I just haven't seen for some time!! I feel like Gabe is coming out of his little world and really for once joining ours. Even my family has noticed the difference. It's exciting.

We called Hershey medical center yesterday to set up an evaluation with the child psych. there. I am so excited to have some solid evals done on Gabe. The school district evals way back in November were a joke. There were huge red flags for autism then and not one person opened their mouth about those concerns. It didn't matter that Gabe didn't talk to them, ignored most of their requests, didn't copy anything they did, and pretty much looked like classic autism at that point! Well, since finding a great neurologist we have finally got some answers. Whew...now we can go to Hershey and find out just where Gabe is as far as autism is concerned. I just feel like it is high functioning or even pdd-nos. Regardless of their findings I just want Gabe to have every oppurtunity as a NT kid has. We are so on our way to that.

Looks like we are going to finally get some OT as well. We have our name on the waiting list at the local rehab hospital. Hope we get a call soon! We have our name in there as well for speech. And I am thinking about adding some ABA for Gabe. We are seeing some behavior issues as he gets older as well as he has an extreemly hard time reading body language and facial expressions unless they are happy or crying. He doesn't understand limits as far as personal space goes and can't understand when people are angry and want him to stop. Hopefully OT or ABA can help with some of that.

How Gabe sees it...

2008-07-25T22:48:00.000-04:00

We see a screen door. Gabe is more amazed at how it feels. Running his fingers across the screen feels so neat. We see a TV that's turned off. Gabe see's a wonderful opertunity to paint it with his tongue. We see a match box car. Gabe see's every tiny detail right down to the little number 3 on the door or the flames on the hood. Water coming out of a sprinkler looks awesome if you bend down to just the right level. A cupcake should never be cut in half. And spinning in a circle on Grandma's office chair is amazing as the different colors zoom by.

What's so wrong with running your fingers across the screen door? Or spinning around in a chair for 20min at a time? I don't know. But some people find that weird. Me, I am amazed by how much Gabe see's that we don't. Every feather on a bird, the detail in a painting, the perfect shadown on the wall, the way you can line up toy cars in just the right way to make a square.

Gabe is one neat kid. I am so proud to call him my son. He has been so great the past two days. I almost forgot he was autistic until tonight. We went to my dad's for dinner and there were more people there then I knew were coming. If there are going to be a lot of people I usually tell Gabe. Today I didn't know. He burried his head so far into my leg I thought we were going to need the jaws of life to get him out. He refused to stay on the deck with these strange people. He spent most of the evening on the grass. Finally he came up on the deck with us but he spent a lot of his time in his little world. My dad would talk to him but there was no responce. He just sat and blew the pinwheel my step mom gave him. Of course there were fleeting moments of coherent Gabe but they were quickly lost. I could see the look on my dad's neighbors face when she tried to give Gabe sunglasses. He turned completly away from her with a blank look on his face. And in that split second I read her mind and it said, "wonder what's wrong with him?". And my heart broke.

Autism isn't like cerbral palsy. No one can see it. Gabe is the little boy that doesn't talk well, is bad, doesn't listen, can't sit still, and even worse dumb. The sad thing is he can talk in his head. He knows what he wants to say. But he can't say it. He does listen but he doesn't always hear everything that we are saying. Sitting still isn't easy when the world if full of exciting and wonderful things. And he is definatly not a dumb child. Sometimes I feel like yelling to the world...please be patient...Gabe has autism...but would the world really listen?....

This is a long road...but Gabe is going to do great things...I just know it...

Going to the beach

2008-07-24T17:16:00.000-04:00

Gabe watches Noggin all the time. And all summer long it has been a beach theme. So, this weekend we are taking Gabe to the beach. Just a one day thing nothing big. I can't wait to see what he does when he gets in the sand! Oh those senses will love that. Mr. Sensory Seeker should be so happy. The last time he was at the beach he was about 18 months old and he didn't really care for the sand or the ocean. Wonder how he will do this time?

2008-07-16T21:34:00.001-04:00

Our SpringBoard arrived

2008-07-16T15:30:00.000-04:00

Yay!! Gabe's new talker to try out has finally arrived. We have been waiting for awhile now. This time I set it up so has to make sentences with his talker. Before he only had to hunt pictures. Now he has to do some real digging to get what he wants. The amazing thing is he already made a senstence. "I like swimming" was his first sentence he made with no help from me. I don't know how he picks up on this stuff so quickly. I can't wait to see all the things he does with it. We get to keep this talker till Sept. So we have some time to play and figure things out.

Happy Birthday

2008-07-13T13:49:00.000-04:00

Today is Jasmine's birthday. The big 17! I can't believe that. I am getting so old. She was 9 when Matt and I started dating. July is a busy month for birthdays in our family. My sister in law shares a bday with Jasmine and my bday is on the
18th. What a busy month.

Tip toe...tip toe....

2008-07-12T20:28:00.001-04:00

I have noticed that Gabe has been up on his tip toes a lot this week. This is something we don't see very often. I am wondering if his sensory issues are really bothering him. He ran around the pool today way up on those toes when he wasn't in the water. He LOVES the pool so much. He finally jumps in all by himself. That's good and bad becasue now he has no fear anymore so we have to keep an extra close eye on him. My family is great at helping watch for Gabe. My mom and Aunt get paranoid even if he is two inches away. It is nice having the extra eyes around.

and the frustration mounts...

2008-07-08T08:32:00.000-04:00

We had to send back the demo Vantage that we were using for Gabe. He has been horrible since sending his device back. He tries desperatly to tell us what he wants but ends up screaming and crying when we don't understand. I knew the talker was helping but jeeze I didn't realise it was helping that much. I am kind of glad to see the difference because it will help us decide if we should really buy a device or not.

Yesterday was so bad for Gabe. He spent most of the day crying and telling me no, no, no. It didn't matter what I tried to do for him he just was unhappy. Today isn't turning out any better. I made him peanut butter toast this morning and he ate one piece and told me more. He still had one piece left on his plate but refused to eat it. Then he decided it would be a good idea to put the toast on the floor and roll it under his feet. So I threw the yucky toast away and started to make more. For some reason the piece on his plate was "contaminated" and he wasn't eating it. But when I threw it away he screamed bloody murder. Needless to say I was loosing my cool. So I made him a new piece and said "This is it, you don't eat this one and there is no more." He ate it...ugh...what was wrong with that other piece? I will never know. Sometimes I just don't get it...why couldn't he eat that other piece before he played footsies with it?

Tomato Soup

2008-07-02T18:31:00.000-04:00

We had tomato soup and toasted cheese for dinner tonight. Gabe decided it would be fun to crunch all of his crackers in his soup but not eat either. He then decided his brand new car would love to take a "bath" in his cracker mushed tomato soup. Ugh. He also thought shoving an entire half of a toasted cheese in his mouth would be a great idea. It doesn't matter if you can breathe, right? I am always amazed at the elasticity of Gabe's mouth. And that we haven't had to call 911 for choking. Today I caught Gabe with woody wood pecker in his mouth, a car, and one of his word whacker letters. Nothing in the house is safe. Not even the cat.

Gabe spent two hours today playing with a new toy his aunt got him. It is a car maze. The cars go around and around up the hill and back down. He loves to lay on the floor and just watch the cars going around. He played with it for hours yesterday. He finally stopped playing with after lunch today. But he has to hold the little cars for it all the time. They took a bath with him and went ot the store with him today. I wonder if he will start kindy with having to take a car with him. Better yet I wonder if he will be a grown man and still carrying around a little car?

2008-07-02T12:05:00.001-04:00

All about my monkey family

2008-07-02T08:57:00.000-04:00

I have three monkey's in my house and one monkey on the way. The first monkey is the oldest monkey...his name is Matt aka daddy. Monkey number two is going to be 17 soon and her name is Jasmine. The third monkey is Gabe and probably more monkey then the rest of them. I am Jessie...and some days I really do feel like I am in a zoo!!

I have known Matt for more then 7 years now. He is the greatest dad in the world. He loves his children and life. Matt is an avid guitar player. He plays acoustic guitar as well as electric. He also plays piano and records music. Along with being a great musician comes those artistic traits. My mother always warned me to stay away from musicians :-). I can't imagine life without Matt.

Jasmine is my step daughter who is also very artistic. She can draw very well. Jasmine has bipolar disorder which is something that took me a long time to understand. Despite having a hard time with her disorder she has shined through the fog. I couldn't be more proud of her. She loves dolphins and I would love to take her to swim with the dolphins. She always wants to help everyone and wears her heart on her sleeve. Not always a good thing in this world we live in.

Gabriel is my three year old little monkey that loves to climb, climb, climb. There isn't much he is afraid of these days. Gabe loves everything cars, powdered doughnuts, and chocolate milk. He is also turning out to be a little artist. Definitely a trait from his daddy. Gabe has sensory processing disorder, apraxia of speech, and autism spectrum disorder. He is truly an amazing kid. There is never a dull moment in our house. NEVER.

Now onto the monkey in progress. I am 3 months prego with my second child. I am very excited and sending out pink baby dust in the hopes for a little girl. I just want to buy baby dolls and little cute dresses. I am tired of cars and iron man!

There is also another member in our family. Mr. Milo the cat...who thinks he is the master of this house. Milo has some sensory issues of his own. He can't eat any other cat food beside IAMS kitten food even though he will be turning two in October. He also is obsessed with my hair ties. He hides them under the couch. One day I was cleaning under the couches and I found at least 30 hair ties under it!! Milo is also madly in love with a stuffed Kermit the frog. It use to be Gabe's Kermit but Milo took ownership.

Oh, and I guess I should add a little about me. I play violin and I am not near as talented at music as Matt. But I love to play none the less. Some days I feel insane dealing with all of Gabe's therapy, Jasmines issues, Matt's artistic ways, and the cat doing the dirty with Kermit! There are times when I could pull my hair out. But at the end of the day I sit back and look at my wonderful family and all they have to offer...and I realize I am one of the luckiest mom's in the world. I love all my monkeys...and my zoo!!